It comes in waves of harsh reality. I can’t do this and it doesn’t matter if it is in my blood or if I’ve written everyday for most of my life. It doesn’t mater that I spend hours imagining stories that entertained me. It doesn’t matter that I’ve learned how to write them down and share what I’ve learned with whomever wished to learn.
In between the waves I submit, letting the tide take me where it will.
Am I scared? Oh yes, but when something runs deeply it’s hard to keep it to yourself. It is harder to turn your back on it. I’m not saying I’m a great writer. I wish I was, but I do understand something about the greats of the human race. They all had this drive, and they kept going until their vision changed the world. I’m not arrogant enough to think I’ll be doing this, but I’ll be reaching for it.
It scares me like nothing else in my life has — the brass ring, the open window, the big chance. It’s there and I can see it beyond my fingertips. I’m not alone. So many hands, and so many chances, yet we stand together like an army trying for greatness. And I wonder which of us will find it.
There is no doubt that some of us will.
I don’t care who makes it. To be a part of such a community is pleasure enough. I love the creativity, excitement, and will until the day I die.
Being an insecure writer is who I am and until the last few years I kept it to myself. With the internet I’ve discovered I’m not alone. Many of us bob along between the waves of bravery and terror.
If you are part of this, be excited, be afraid and love every moment of it. You’re alive and doing something truly remarkable. I face my fears, as you do, and every time I submit I jump in over my head, wondering what will happen next.
Now that I have found you, hold my hand and let’s jump together.