Not feeling so weak or insecure after NaNoWriMo 2014.
There are times in a person’s life that they decide to challenge themselves; win or not they have to try. They mutter, challenge accepted. Maybe they do it as Barney did in How I Met Your Mother, or maybe they say it through clenched teeth. After the last few months, I used the clenched teeth method. NaNoWriMo is one of my personal yearly challenges. I do it to learn something new about myself, to test my limits, and to determine my inner strength.
Once upon a time, I was on the outside looking in while writers participated in this worldwide event. When I thought of NaNo and the group of writers all attempting to do the same thing I was in awe. They put personal stuff aside, set goals, and encouraged each other. I knew they built more than stories.
When I finally I had enough of being the outsider, I jumped in expecting to fail. Only real writers won Nano. Real writers wrote poetry, shorts and novels with passion on each page, and words that move their readers, and move themselves.
Was I a real writer?
Some days I’m still not sure, but I won my first year and I won again this year.
The point I’m trying to make is the pendulum has swung back and I feel strong today. I endured until my insecurity faded away. I did things to build myself up like participating in Nano. This year my muse surprised me and made it easier for me to win, but then everything is relative. We know it’s hard to win. If we can do that, then we can do other things too.
A thought to hang on to.