I’m writing them for two reasons: to help put my experiences in perspective and to purge myself of any residual compost.
Since it is good therapy, you are invited to join me, post your link in comments and I’ll be sure to drop by.
Let it begin:
I can’t believe this is happening, but I’m starting to resent being treated like a reader rather than a writer. I haven’t been discovered and I’m fully aware of my rank on Amazon, yet deep down when I’m invited to a *fill in event here* at Goodreads I actually stop and sigh. When did my ego do this leap and become so massive that innocents are tripping over the thing? I know I’m more of a reader than a writer. What’s my problem?
My Amazon author ranking is in the kazillions. Sure I’ve had some shorts published but so what? And Goodreads was designed for readers to explore their shelves not for my personal ego stroking. I need to get a grip on this. Even my rejections, three in January alone, have not knocked me off my pedestal. All I know is I can’t succeed until I’ve got a handle on this.
I’ve known about the swollen ego for years, met some, tripped over others and we all know it is bad for everyone involved when it gets too close. Emotions explode. People walk on eggshells. Friends lose your number. Watch any news item where a star does it and their headliners or gone forever.
I love books, stories of any kind if you want the truth. To me it is the ultimate entertainment. I do dissect the stories I love best and try to learn why I love them so. I also enjoy critiquing and beta reading because I help a colleague bump up their story while fine tuning my skills. The writing community rocks and I love everything about it.
What scares me to my core is success. Am I going to evolve into some arrogant jerk freak that I can’t stand? I don’t want to become someone I absolutely hate. The only solution to this is to kick myself back down to where I belong. I need help because I can barely look myself in the eye; tell me how do you keep your feet on the ground?