I hope you know I want you to succeed even if I never do. I want the best for all of you. You deserve the benefits of working hard. That big prize, that beautiful rainbow, and that smile that never completely leaves your face. Don’t hide it. Let it show. Be proud.
This month, it feels like I’m being left behind. So many writers are being published and I’m so far back. I’ve read comments like this one on other posts, by other writers, and didn’t truly understand what they were feeling, but I’m feeling it now.
I’m trying to keep my head down and not look at where I am in comparison to everyone else. All the logic in the world doesn’t seem to stop me from noticing. How can I be so logical one moment and then so emotional the next? I feel foolish, off balance and envious as hell.
If you know me, then you know I’m not usually like this. I try to be supportive, and positive. To me attitude is everything.
So don’t look back at the cranky-pants woman just leaving the starting gate. She’s full of insecurity and self-pity. Although I know misery loves company, I’m not sure I deserve any.
So share your success with me. I know it took hard work, dedication and maybe some luck. Please tell me how it feels. Let me live through you this month. I don’t care how small the success is. It’s yours and if you’re willing, this month I’ll live through you.