Inspiration: Where Do You Find It?

Yesterday I was chased by a guy with road rage, or a high and mighty attitude. For a reason I missed completely, he took time out of his busy day to yell at me for stopping for a herd of deer crossing the road. I’m still trying to figure out what the alternative would be. Wrecking my car when a deer jumps in front of it might be his choice, but it isn’t mine.

FYI, we have deer like a city has rats. They’ve become a menace to every kind of garden. It’s so bad, it’s against the law to feed them, and the city council is trying (and failing) to get rid of them. Back to my point.

The man had nerve enough to stop behind my car as I got out to go dandelion-335222_1280grocery shopping, and his mouthing off brought out the worst in me. I’m ashamed to say, I matched each verbal attack with one of my own. I shouted back things like, have another drink (not taking him too seriously at first), stop yelling at me, do I need to call the cops. I’m not proud of my behavior, but eventually I bit my tongue and got on with my day.

But when I think about it, I start shaking all over again.

My reaction wasn’t provoked by yesterday. It was from living with domestic violence years before. I thought I had shed that part of my life. I thought my fear of abuse was gone, and I thought I had healed.

Apparently emotional scar tissue is thin and easily ripped away, so it couldn’t protect me from the ridiculousness of life. The thing that helped me let my feelings go was knowing I’d use this raw emotion to fill pages in a book, and that book would be published. I know this not because I’m arrogant, but because I’m staring at my new White Light bookmarks right now. They are all the proof I need.dandelion-33298_1280

I can honestly thank every a-hole for kicking my butt and breaking my heart. I have fuel enough for a thousand books and more than enough time to write some of them. Without the emotion I’d have nothing to say.

So thank you. It turns out you’re good for something after all.

Anything fired you up? I love to hear about it especially today.

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32 responses to “Inspiration: Where Do You Find It?

  1. That would have shaken me up, too. My husband and I were once followed into a convenience store parking lot by a road rager who thought that I had given him “a look” and was willing to beat my husband up over it. Crazy is out there.

    I’m glad he did nothing more than yell, and if you can channel that into writing, good for you. I think I’d still be shaking.

  2. Glad you’re okay. Scary situation.

    I think a lot of writers use the past to fuel stories.

  3. That would’ve shaken me up too. It’s one thing to be inside your car, another to be face to face. As a teen I wrote to get away from my crappy life. Now, I write so I can see all the marvels in the world, and twist it into a morbid “reality” I can control. **inserts evil laugh**

  4. I had a big reply and then my computer did something freaky and erased it, So here is a short version an less interesting. Glad you are okay after that. Road rage can be so dangerous, I know after working 911 23 years, That would have scared me.

    Star Wars fan fiction and RPG in the past was a match to my fire. Lately, everything is a struggle, but pushing and working through it as I can.

    Juneta Writer’s Gambit

  5. I’m sorry that happened to you. Emotional scars ARE thin. I’ve been triggered, too, and surprised at my own actions and reactions. Great way to channel it into something useful, like your writing, and characters.

  6. I must say, I don’t see anything wrong with what you said. It sounded logical (OK, ‘have another drink’ was more an educated guess), and non-confrontational. Twere I in your position, I probably would have been shaking, maybe even in tears. That, I’m not proud of either.

  7. That’s awful. Glad it didn’t go any further than yelling. I don’t know where these crazy idiots come from. I’d have been yelling at him, too, though that probably wouldn’t have been the best example to set for my kids. But still, you can’t let them walk all over you either. I hope you write him into one of your stories and give him the treatment he deserves.

  8. The Ranting Monkey

    I’ve been having a situation at work with a new boss. I can deal with a lot of garbage but I caught this guy lying to me. I can’t take lying. Tell me an ugly truth and we’ll be friends. Blow smoke up my rear and I’m done. I tried to let it go but it just kept eating at me. His name will appear in a story.

    • For your own protection, prevent being sued, it might be wiser to describe several traits but don’t get too specific. The up side of this is you can destroy your boss several times in different stories.

      Enjoy 🙂

      • The Ranting Monkey

        I’m not too concerned, I’m not convinced he can read.

        I appreciate the tip, I’ll be sure to break it up into deniable chunks.

  9. What a jerk! I’m so sorry you were abused. No one should ever have to go through that, but far too many people do.

    I consider myself an easygoing person, but I can always tell when I’ve been away from kickboxing class for too long. This past spring, I was trying to get around this guy who, with the help of a snowbank and a recycling bin, was blocking the entire sidewalk. I expected him to let me pass, but he didn’t move, so I ended up grazing him with my bag. When I was a few steps away, he shouted that I had no manners. All of a sudden, I cursed him out for blocking the entire sidewalk. He’s going to lecture me about manners? Yep, I got into a shouting match with a jerk on the street. I went back to class the next day.

  10. Great post Anna. Road Ragers get under my skin too. I had a terrible encounter with one while I was pregnant with my son. I know I am no innocent when it comes to driving in traffic myself but there is no need to endanger someone simply because their is a belief they can drive better than you. Ugh. I am sorry they yelled at you too. I am however, glad to know you yelled back. Sometimes it hurts worse when you can’t find words to fight for yourself. So bravo!

  11. People get so riled over the silliest things. I think part of that is the dialog that society keeps repeating these days–that it’s all about you and what makes you happy. It used to repeat the rhetoric that we did what we were supposed to in order to bless/provide for those in our lives. That’s something that gets me riled up the “What’s in it for me” attitude.

  12. I would have been shaken up too, especially since I’m typically the non-confrontational type. And yeah, you stop for deer crossing the road. I also try to stop for all other animals too unless it’d cause a wreck.

  13. I’m so sorry you went through that. Road rage is scary…it’s one reason why I get anxiety in the car…and domestic violence is horrible. I’ve always supported domestic violence awareness, and I’m so glad you got our safely. I use the bad things I’ve gone through from inspiration for my books and characters too.

  14. Oh my, that would have shaken me up too. You just never know how volatile the situation could have gotten.

  15. I don’t understand this. Logically, the only reason to get road rage is if you need to be somewhere else and following someone to yell at them just keeps them away longer…then again, people are not logical creatures. Sorry you had to deal with the regional jerkface. 😦

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