PE15: Moment By Moment

4758229aAn emotional connection is the key to good writing. Some of us process our feelings through journaling and some of us (me) do it through personal essays. I’m not bringing back my monthly posts but I do need to share once in a while. It’s healthy—therapeutic even.

Let my processing begin.

Mom had a close call that has left the family shaken. Since then, she has been digging in and working hard to get her strength back. It not only sucks for her; I’m not writing as much as I’d like which normally keeps me sane. Instead of a clear head, my thoughts roam from first-world problems to third and back again, reminding me of how similar we are.

It started when they removed some liquid from around Mom’s heart. An error in test results had all of us thinking Mom was dying of cancer. You’d think that once they determined she wasn’t in danger we would have been happy. But here’s the thing, the elderly can’t lay around for two weeks without consequences. Now she has to build her body back up to where it was before and it’s been a huge effort not just for her but for her support system.

A physiotherapist repeatedly visits the house, family have been in and out, and home support have doubled their efforts. My responsibilities have increased—pulling me away from writing when I need it the most. I’m not being selfish; my goal is to express myself safely and avoid venting all over innocent bystanders. Writing has been my coping mechanism most of my life. The fact I can sell my stories is a bonus.

It never occurred to me that sitting up or walking to the bathroom could demonstrate bravery. What most of us would think of as no big deal is a huge accomplishment for Mom. Small things matter. Small moments matter too. There are times when there is nothing but helplessness, because no matter what I do I can’t stop time.

As writers we share our trials and our passions disguised as stories. Words express moments of our humanity. Frailty, loneliness, fear, love, and strength strip us down to our hearts and souls. These moments fill us up, giving us purpose, and value, which can test us when adversity strikes. Today I proved I’m okay—not great—but okay and that has to do.


48 responses to “PE15: Moment By Moment

  1. Sometimes “okay” is the best we can do, and that is totally fine. Sending good thoughts to you and your family. Hang in there!

  2. Your last paragraph is so true. Filling us up by overcoming/dealing with adversity. So many times I’ve heard it builds character, but as writers it also helps us to build our characters and stories. Hope your mom is doing better. I’m glad you have come to celebrate her improvements with her health issues and appreciate her bravery.

  3. That was beautifully expressed. Sending love, hugs, and healing energy your way. Wishing you all strength, fortitude and a rearview mirror to these troubles. Hope your mom recovers quickly for her sake and peace of mind for all.
    Juneta @ Writer’s Gambit

  4. I hope your mom is getting better each day. What a strain for her. I bet when this is all behind you you’ll have a new understanding of several topics you can blend into your writing.

  5. An emotional connection to the story or characters is always a must for me especially in contemporaries. Great post Anna!

  6. So sorry to hear about your mom. Those frightening moments steal your breath and normal life just stops. I’m glad she’s not giving up and is working determinedly to get her health back. I live in fear of when I’ll have to deal with some medical emergency with my parents. They are both 80 now. We’ve always been very close, and the fact that I can hear the clock ticking down the years of their lives tears at my heart. Like you said, there’s no stopping time. Hang in there. Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way.

  7. I’m so sorry to hear about what your mom is going through. She sounds like a fighter, though. I hope she gets back to a place of strength again where walking and getting up is easier. I have her, you, and your family in my thoughts and prayers. ❤

  8. If there’s one thing I learnt from my daughter’s cancer. The most important things in life are health and family. I hope your mom gets better soon.

  9. So sorry about your mom, I hope she gets better soon! Hugs!!!

  10. Thank you for sharing. We watched my dad and brother deteriorate as each of them came closer and closer to death’s door. Being a caretaker can be so exhausting and rewarding and frustrating at times. I’m sending love and cheese your way.

  11. So true Anne. Enjoy the small moments.

  12. I am thinking of you Anna. I hope your mom comes back stronger than ever 🙂

  13. We do tend to take good health for granted. Sometimes we need to be reminded how lucky we really are. Thanks for the thoughts.

  14. I hear me in your words because my mother is also facing challenges that makes doing the simplest act now a major accomplishment. It is hard to watch these changes in our loved ones.

  15. We haven’t encounter bravery until we see the elderly or the ill out there, giving it their all to push on. Hope your mom improves.

  16. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom’s struggles. It is so much harder as we get older to bounce back. Use it or lose it is so true.
    Writing has always been my coping mechanism too, I hope you can steal some time.

  17. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother’s health issues. It’s so hard to watch your parents grow old and struggle to do the daily things that we take for granted. Sending you and your mother positive thoughts.

  18. I wish your mother well. Hang in there and grab what moments you can.

  19. I’m hoping for good things for your mother and your family, Anna. In my prayers:)

  20. Wow, I’m so sorry to hear. That must be beyond difficult. I really hope your mom recovers and regains her strength.

    And it was a beautiful, heart-wrenching essay.

  21. What an incredibly brave post, Anna. I loved your turns of phrase which said everything so poignantly. Here’s sending the right thoughts for your momma’s recovery to strength and health. 🙂

  22. I’m sorry your mom is going through this. I’m sending good, positive thoughts her way. I also use writing to cope through my most distressing times.

  23. jennifer@badbirdreads

    Beautifully said. So sorry for what is happening. Sending my thoughts to you and your family.

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