An emotional connection is the key to good writing. Some of us process our feelings through journaling and some of us (me) do it through personal essays. I’m not bringing back my monthly posts but I do need to share once in a while. It’s healthy—therapeutic even.
Let my processing begin.
Mom had a close call that has left the family shaken. Since then, she has been digging in and working hard to get her strength back. It not only sucks for her; I’m not writing as much as I’d like which normally keeps me sane. Instead of a clear head, my thoughts roam from first-world problems to third and back again, reminding me of how similar we are.
It started when they removed some liquid from around Mom’s heart. An error in test results had all of us thinking Mom was dying of cancer. You’d think that once they determined she wasn’t in danger we would have been happy. But here’s the thing, the elderly can’t lay around for two weeks without consequences. Now she has to build her body back up to where it was before and it’s been a huge effort not just for her but for her support system.
A physiotherapist repeatedly visits the house, family have been in and out, and home support have doubled their efforts. My responsibilities have increased—pulling me away from writing when I need it the most. I’m not being selfish; my goal is to express myself safely and avoid venting all over innocent bystanders. Writing has been my coping mechanism most of my life. The fact I can sell my stories is a bonus.
It never occurred to me that sitting up or walking to the bathroom could demonstrate bravery. What most of us would think of as no big deal is a huge accomplishment for Mom. Small things matter. Small moments matter too. There are times when there is nothing but helplessness, because no matter what I do I can’t stop time.
As writers we share our trials and our passions disguised as stories. Words express moments of our humanity. Frailty, loneliness, fear, love, and strength strip us down to our hearts and souls. These moments fill us up, giving us purpose, and value, which can test us when adversity strikes. Today I proved I’m okay—not great—but okay and that has to do.