IWSG 67: My Future Self


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This post was written for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group where we share our encouragement or insecurities on the first Wednesday of the month, to join the group or find out more click here.

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Co-Hosts

Tonja Drecker | Beverly Stowe McClure | Nicki Elson | Fundy Blue | Tyrean Martinson

OPTIONAL IWSG DAY QUESTION:

Let’s play a game. Imagine. Role-play. How would you describe your future writer self, your life and what it looks and feels like if you were living the dream?

Or if you are already there, what does it look and feel like? Tell the rest of us. What would you change or improve?

I can only answer part one.

Although I think of myself as a good writer and poet—when the mood strikes, I can’t hang on to the feeling that my work is worth anything more than black and white scribbles on a computer screen.

Think pendulum, I swing between being worthy and the woman with a shaking hand over the all too powerful backspace button. When worthy, the mood hits hard and I write up a storm. Oh, and like what I’ve typed.

But like the ocean, I can count on the feeling ebbing away  leaving me a hot mess.

Future writer self?

To have the energy and self-esteem to write something worth reading every day. Without the constant pendulum. To feel like I’ve accomplished something creative every time I sit down. Because my creativity validates who I am.

I don’t need to be rich, or famous. In fact, I’d probably hate being both.

I guess what I’m saying is, my future self would believe in herself for more than a minute at a time.

I admire all of you so much for simply this reason. You do it. You live the writing life I want so bad.

My Dream

I can only guess what Stephen King thinks or feels.

He claims to be just a normal every day guy… that happens to write stories.

I guess I want to feel like that.

Spending my lifetime writing stories as a normal-every-day gal.

Thanks for dropping by. Do you feel yourself swing from able-author to less-than? What do you do to keep at it?

72 responses to “IWSG 67: My Future Self

  1. I know that pendulum feeling well 🙂

  2. You are being too hard on yourself! I think the act of writing is creative in itself, even if the result is less than stellar. My NaNo manuscript is a giant mess, but there were moments in the writing where I was on the good end of that pendulum swing, and I believe there are some good ideas/scenes/descriptions etc lurking in that pile. Digging them out is also a creative act even if it doesn’t look like it. 🙂

    Hang in there! 🙂

  3. I hope you get to that point in your writing. It’s not that hard to attain. Are you in a critique group? Hearing what other writers like in your work might give you confidence and help you fix what you don’t like in your writing.

  4. I’m 50-50 myself. I’d sit down to write and I’m blown away over what I wrote. Other times I’m like what the hell is this crap. The only reason I haven’t stopped is that I know whether I find my writing crappy or the best thing since sliced bread (forgive the cliche) someone(s) out there wants to and would enjoy reading my story.
    Remember to write for yourself first. Then write for your readers. And fix what you don’t like in the rewriting and edits.

    • You’re right of course. Me first. But I can’t seem to get my readers, or lack of, out of my mind. It’s been a hard inner battle–lately.

      And I must fight harder. 🙂

  5. i too feel you are being too hard on yourself. there are so many books and authors, it’s hard to be found. keep on keeping on. i believe in you
    sherry @ fundinmental

  6. Living the writing life doesn’t make those swings back & forth go away though.

  7. Hi Anna. First of all, congratulations because you write. You know, if you believe so, then you are never good enough. But I feel it’s just so wonderful to be able to pen your thoughts. Because almost everyone has something to say but a lot of people are unable to do so. So, you are doing great. Don’t write to be judged. Write to write. And well, to answer your question, I am always swinging. You ain’t alone!!

  8. Hi,
    As I began to accept who I am, I started being gentle with myself. I finally realized that no one here on earth can validate me. The validation must . come from within me. That changed my life.
    Wishing you all the best in . 2020.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat G @ EverythingMustChange

  9. Oh! I know that feeling of sometimes believing my work is good, but not being able to keep a good hold of that thought.

  10. I think anyone creative knows that pendulum feeling. I get it all the time with my writing, art, and anything creative I do. It’s rough, but also a bit essential as it keeps me on my toes.

  11. I’m with you about fame and fortune. I don’t really want the extra attention. I just want to write stories, and if I can make a living doing it, that would be enough for me.

  12. I’m with you too! I don’t need a lot, but confidence would be awesome!!! 🙂

  13. Fame? No thanks. Fortune? Nice, but not necessary. I, too, just want to write my stories. But I don’t think I’m ever going to meet the definition of “normal, everyday gal”! 😀

  14. I hope you achieve that feeling of confidence and find constant pride and joy in what you write. You deserve it!

  15. That image of a shaky hand poised over the backspace button hit me hard. It’s all too familiar. I’ll send the hope that your confident side grows stronger and you find yourself living your dream someday soon! Happy IWSG day.

  16. I have that pendulum issue too and could really relate to this post. I hope we can both achieve that confidence level. Hugs to you!

  17. I don’t think self-doubts ever go away, even for the most famous writers. That’s the price of creativity: always striving for something better, something in the sky you haven’t reached yet. You wouldn’t be truly creative if you didn’t have this feeling.

  18. I think many of us can relate to flagging self-confidence. (I like what Olga said.) When I get outcome focused (“Is this any good? Will it sell? Will others like it?”), I try to focus on the process more. For me that involves exploring and writing what fascinates me: dysfunctional family relationships and healing from pain. What are you passionate about? Or which part of the process could you refocus on when you have outcome worries?

  19. I do feel that pendulum swing more than I like. All we do is to keep trying because the dream burns more brightly than the shadow. I believe in you 🙂

  20. It always looks different on the other side of the fence but I think so many of us feel the same way… even the super successful ones.

  21. I think that pendulum is one most of us swing on in one way or another. Optimism and despair. Confidence and imposter syndrome. I, too, strive, to even out my swing and hang in that middle ground where my worldview is a little more realistic. @samanthabwriter from
    Balancing Act

  22. I think King is a normal guy who works really hard at his job of writing. That pendulum gets all of us who aren’t where he is.

  23. Debbie Johansson

    I can also relate to the pendulum swings. I’ve heard that even well-known authors still suffer from it and that you just have to work through it. I interpret that to mean remain focused on our craft, enjoy what you do and keep writing. Well, that’s what I plan to do anyway. 😉

  24. I like that. Spend a life writing stories as an everyday gal. Yeah, that would be a good life. Ray Bradbury says just write and see what happens… similar philosophy that worked out well for both of those guys.

  25. Love your dream. To be a normal gal who writes every day and has confidence in the process and the result. Perfect!

  26. Ah, I know that feeling well as I think a lot of writers do! Loving what you do is the most important thing, (although sometimes that can be hard to do). Let’s all keep going and follow our writing dreams. Best wishes.

  27. Oh, what a great post. I can so relate, as I imagine can everyone that read this. Thumbs up.

  28. I can accept the daily swings. I just want to be an established enough writer so those daily swings just seem like part of the job. Good luck managing those swings!

  29. Yep, the pendulum is a constant. Talk about a contradicting sentence… yet it is a description of my writing life. How do I keep “at it”? I don’t. I think to become a successful “dream” writer, the focus and dedication to write and create has to be there ALL THE TIME. I don’t fit into that category (and don’t want to).

  30. Rebecca Douglass

    Ha! I hang onto the end of the pendulum all the time! When I got my acceptance for the IWSG anthology, I was over the moon. I’m amazing! About two hours later I was in tears because I’m no good. This may not all be about writing :p

  31. Steven Rose, Jr.

    I feel myself swinging on the pendulum all the time. I’m sure every writer feels it to some extent, even the award-winning and best-selling ones.

    I don’t think I’d like being (too) rich or famous; it would draw too much unwanted attention to me. I prefer living a down-to-earth life as a writer rather than always being in the spotlight. I think it can be done.

  32. The pendulum swing seems to be part of every writer’s psyche. That puts you rungs above other scribblers, especially the ones whose ‘pen’ never touches the ‘paper’. You are a writer – period. Success – period. Better to be rich in words shared than rich in money everyone takes; well, that’s my approach.

  33. In theory I’d love to write something worth reading every time I wrote – but I can’t imagine it happening and in reality I’m happy writing something worth editing most of the time.

  34. Don’t be harsh on yourself, we all have these pendulum days where we think we all suck and at times we fall in love with our words .Just enjoy your writing 🙂

  35. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Sorry it took so long for me to visit you.
    Oh, the highs and lows of writing.
    I recently submitted a story I knew wasn’t that good only because I didn’t want to not submit another story. There are times when I know what I’ve written is great despite what anyone else says and vice versa. I’ve learned to accept that the good and bad are part of my process of being better.

    • I know it’s all subjective. Logic and other writers say so. Sometimes I just get stuck in a pity party and it takes awhile to get out.

      I think I see the door. It shouldn’t be long now. 🙂

  36. Focus on the story you want to tell and tell it the way you want to.

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