~~~oOo~~~
This post was written for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group where we share our encouragement or insecurities on the first Wednesday of the month, to join the group or find out more click here.
co-hosts
emima Pett | Debs Carey | Kim Lajevardi | Sarah Foster | Natalie Aguirre | T. Powell Coltrin
OPTIONAL IWSG DAY QUESTION:
Do you have a word of the year? Is there one word that sums up what you need to work on or change in the coming year? For instance, in 2021 my word of the year was Finish. I was determined to finish my first draft by the end of the year. In 2022, my word of the year was Ease. I want to get my process, systems, finances, and routines where life flows with ease and less chaos. What is your word for 2023?
~~~oOo~~~
I’m going to touch on a couple topics this round.
First, Imposter syndrome
I’ve never been so deep in the mire of imposter syndrome as I am right now. I’ve joined a new crit group and they are great. So great. Talented and wonderful people. We’re online, so we are from everywhere.
And I feel wiser because I’ve met them.
And more insecure than I’ve been in years.
You’d think that would segue into my next subject.
Second, the new Year’s resolution
So many of us set the bar high. I did it for years and gave myself impossible goals that I didn’t achieve.
Of the top five below, I’ve done none.
“Every year, millions of people make New Year’s resolutions, hoping to spark positive change. The recurring themes each year include a more active approach to health and fitness, improved finances, and learning new things for personal and professional development. Chances are, more than a couple of the top 10 most common resolutions will look familiar to you:
- Exercise more
- Lose weight
- Get organized
- Learn a new skill or hobby
- Live life to the fullest…”
From: GoSkills.com
Be kind to yourself and don’t trade one problem for another.
One year, I swore I’d quit smoking and eventually I did, but it wasn’t a resolution. I got fit. Ate better and still try to do both. I’m not successful everyday though. But I knew that change was the right choice.
If you start the New Year with a resolution and postpone success—as I did—treat yourself as your own best friend. Be supportive. Don’t take advantage of your vulnerability and give yourself some nasty self-talk.
The big thing to remember is, you knew you wanted to change. It is the beginning and you will, eventually. We never stay the same forever.
third and last, My answer
Oh, another segue. Hehehe
I see the New Year as a new beginning where all things are possible—including self change.
When my son was young, I reminded him that a new day was a new beginning.
So as of New Year’s Eve I cut strings to the old and welcome the new.
A year to discover who I am. I just hope I’m wise enough to grasp the brass ring if I see it.
I hope this year brings all of us joy, success, and love.
We are writers. Watch us scrawl.
Happy New Year!
Now, a question for you
How do you get past imposter syndrome?
elements of emaginette 
You’re new crit group sounds great! They can only bring you further along the journey :). Good luck in your endeavours!
Can’t argue with that. hehehe
Oh I so get you about the imposter syndrome kicking in when you get involved with a new group of people and see all that they do and achieve. I’ve suffered with similar recently but because they’re such great people, so generous with time and open with their vulnerabilities and challenges, that I’ve been able to switch it round to being inspired by all they do and aspiring to reach those heady heights myself one day. I hope you’ll be able to do likewise. All the best for 2023 🙂
Debs posting today from Fiction Can Be Fun
Also found at Debs Despatches
With this group, Oh yeah. They’ll get me out of it. ‘Til then, I guess I’d better put my feelings in my back pocket.
I feel like an imposter too. I like Deb’s suggestion to turn it around to being inspired. And then watch yourself grow as you become a better writer by learning from your group’s critiques. Hope this helps you get over imposter syndrome in 2023.
Well, it doesn’t hurt. hehehe
You’re the best. 🙂
There’s a book “What You Say When You Talk to Yourself” and it stresses the importance of positive self-talk. We can’t beat ourselves into doing better.
True. Thanks for the title. I’ll check it out. 🙂
I deal with Imposter Syndrome constantly. It makes my heart race and my stomach churn. Pushing Publish is terrifying. So much about this writing journey is scary (at least for me). At the end of 2019 (right before the pandemic hit), I chose a word for the first time: Risk. It was the year I decided I would finally publish the stories I’d been working on. I’m glad I made the choice, glad I continue to make the choice – but Imposter Syndrome continually makes me feel like a fraud. *sigh* Not sure quite how to beat it, but I remember a comedian (Robin Williams?) saying that if he wasn’t scared before he went on stage, he would have a terrible performance. Part of his success was embracing the fear.
Wishing you all the best for 2023!
I loved Robin Williams. A terrible loss.
I’ll try embracing it and see if it helps. I know it can’t hurt. 🙂
That nasty self-talk gets me every time. So going to work on that.
Wishing you all the best in the new year!
Exciting, isn’t it. 🙂
Great post! Get past Imposter Syndrome, eh?
I’d say two things, one, fake it until you make it–aka don’t give into to it.
Two– remind yourself that you and your voice are UNIQUE. No matter how talented the writers around you are, you are the only one who can tell your tales YOUR WAY. There are people out there who do/will love your voice. Never forget that. 🙂
Happy New Year!!
Thanks. I’ll be re-reading number two again, and again. It helped. 🙂
Hi,
I’m going to say something about your word for the year. First, I like it. Second, I like the goals you have connected with your word. To ease into whatever you need to do so that you have less chaos and less fear, and I would add to ease into the joy that gives you peace within in spite of lies ahead.
Happy New Year!
Shalom aleichem
Thanks, Pat. I can always count on you and your guidance. 🙂
I was told recently that impostors don’t get impostor syndrome. That really struck me and I like it because it’s telling me that even though I may feel like a fraud, the fact I feel that way doesn’t mean I am. So maybe remind yourself that impostors don’t get impostor syndrome.
Smarter than your years. Thanks, Pat. 🙂
Anna! Wow, what an inspiring post. I wish you lived next door. Probably drive you insane, but I’d be … who knows. Keep me posted, please. I need to hear how things are going for you. I suspect this will be your year. I’m cheering for you. Happy 4th New Day!
You’d be welcome anytime. 🙂
And that’s the thing. None of us know what gems are waiting for us.
When it comes to imposter syndrome, I’ve tried to reframe it for myself–saying that I’m an amazing con artist that has convinced all these people I’m a real writer! @samanthabwriter from
Balancing Act
Ah, the long con. Got it. I’ll try it for size. hehehe
Your new writing group sounds awesome! New Year’s resolutions are tough. I used to set SMART goals, like reading X number of books per year or writing X number of words. But last year and the year before I set goals that were a little vague, a little open to interpretation. This seems to be working for me. Leaving things a little more open to interpretation means any progress I make can be interpreted as success, and if I feel like I’m succeeding than it’s easier for me to keep making progress.
Yes, success is in the eye of the beholder. 🙂
Imposture syndrome is so tricky. I’m not sure if I’ve gotten past it. One solution for a while was to not read books by authors I looked up to so I wouldn’t think, “Oh my gosh, I don’t write like that!” But one mantra that I repeated was, “It’s okay to not write like them. I write like me and that’s perfect.”
Thanks, Chrys. I kinda do write like me. hehehe
I love that you’ve discovered a writing group that will support and help you reach your goals for this coming year. And I love this quote: “Be kind to yourself and don’t trade one problem for another.” May your 2023 be filled with success–big and small.
Thanks, Lee. For you too. 🙂
Ah, imposter syndrome. It hits me a lot more with art than it does writing, probably because I can see things side-by-side. Writing it’s a lot harder to identify the flaws, at least for me.
Critiques do have a way of crushing one’s confidence. I feel it any time I submit to my critique group. I don’t know if solidarity helps, but know you’re not alone.
Actually, Loni, it does help. Thanks.
Love the art at Chrys’s blog today. I think we both know her. hehehe
I hope your new crit group is good for you, and to you. If not, get out. You don’t need others to pull you down. We do that enough ourselves. Be good to yourself this year.
You too. 🙂
I like your phrase: “A year to discover who I am.” I hope it is not too late for me, too, to discover who I am. Feels like a worthy goal. And doable. Even if I don’t discover everything, I would still know more than I did before.
I expect to discover how much I’ve change. Then I’ll change again. hehehe
Good luck with yours. It’s in the journey, isn’t it?. 🙂
Imposter syndrome, I could go on and on about it. I had a poem in an anthology recently along with forty seven others from all over the world and many of them awarded for their poetry. When I went for the book reading I felt, well, no prizes for guessing what!
But I like your woty . A writing group if it steers you well is great. I wish you all the luck.
Thanks. When I visited your site, I saw that we suffer together. Nice to be one in a crowd.
Oh boy, do I know what you mean! My new writing group is supremely talented and when we first started swapping our work my spirits sank to my toes. Yes, it’s hard to keep your head high and keep going but we have to. p.s. I love the catchphrase, we are writers watch us scrawl!
Use the phrase proudly. hehehe
Impostor syndrome is such a pain… and it’s always lurking, waiting to strike when one least expects it to…
I’ve never had a ‘word of the year’.
But I believe in perseverance. So maybe that will be my ongoing word for years to come.
Good luck with the new writing group, Anna.
All the best for 2023!
It’s a good word. It suits you. 🙂
I’m glad you found a group, but always take advice and suggestions with a grain of salt. Afterall, you are the author of your story, not them. Thanks for this topic. I never realized so many writers have imposter syndrome. I do too at times. But, I push on knowing I have stories/messages that may help others Have a great new year!
The group is great. I’m a little afraid I’m not good enough to keep my welcome. Only time will tell me how I stand with them. 🙂
That is fantastic that you quit smoking recently, Anna. And I like your mindful goal of being open to new experiences in 2023. Imposter syndrome is so uncomfortable, and it’s a sign that you’re challenging yourself–a worthy endeavor. Have you heard of FFTs from Brene Brown? Joining this critique group reminds me of them. https://www.speechuncensored.com/resources/fft-brene-brown
No, I haven’t heard of them. Thanks for the link. I’ll check it out. 🙂
Oh, I quit smoking over ten years ago. I tried so many things that I lost hope many a time. But I did it in the end. 🙂
I don’t think I’ve ever gotten past imposter syndrome. Kind of hard to do when comparing publication histories. Other authors have so many books published but me?
Exercising more and losing weight always make it to my resolution. And this time, with using my WOTY Steady, plan to make it a reality.
I’m not surprised most people (myself included) don’t keep new year’s resolutions. Real change is hard! I do best when I 1) focus on small everyday actions (choose fruit instead of cookies for a snack, go to the gym, write instead of messing around on my phone, even if it’s just for 15 minutes), and 2) think of these small actions as gifts to my future self. It also helps me to hold an image in my mind that shows why I want to make the change (I want to eat better and exercise b/c I want an active, fun retirement).
But it’s still hard.
I’m sure our future selves will appreciate the gift. 🙂